Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
