this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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