Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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