sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
