You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
