How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
