piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
