I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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