I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
