I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
