You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
