You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
