It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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