I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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