I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
And then my night got REAL pukey
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
