I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
