you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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