Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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