did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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