3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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