She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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