I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
