just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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