I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
operation have a gay friend backfired
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
