I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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