This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
