He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize