I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize