So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
