I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.