Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.