Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
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I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted