break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.