I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
