I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
