I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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