Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I deserve this hangover.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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