if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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