the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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