I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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