I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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