Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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