playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
