The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
