so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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