apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
