Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish you could order shots online.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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