My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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