porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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