"it" just moved
I think my vagina is haunted
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
