you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
