i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
