I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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