We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
