Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
