Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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