i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
