I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
cat food counts as protein by the way
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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