i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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