Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
