so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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