I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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