It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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