I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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