dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
