I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
