Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize