I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
