She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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