I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
