wakey wakey hands off snakey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
